AnEsquireBestBookof2021AstirringandpowerfulmemoirfromblackculturalcriticRebeccaCarrollrecountingherpainfulstruggletoovercomeacompletelywhitechildhoodinordertoforgeheridentityasablackwomaninAmerica.RebeccaCarrollgrewuptheonlyblackpersoninherruralNewHampshiretown.Adoptedatbirthbyartisticparentswhobelievedinpeace,love,andzeropopulationgrowth,herearlychildhoodwaslovingandidyllic--andyetshecouldn’tarticulatethedeepsenseofisolationsheincreasinglyfeltasshegrewolder.Everythingchangedwhenshemetherbirthmother,ayoungwhitewoman,whoconsistentlyunderminedCarroll’ssenseofherblacknessandself-esteem.Carroll’schildhoodbecameharrowing,andhermemoirexploresthetensionbetweentheachingdesireforherbirthmother’sacceptance,theloyaltyshefeelstowardheradoptiveparents,andthesearchforherracialidentity.Asanadult,Carrollforgedapathfromcitytocity,strugglingalongthewaywithdifficultboyfriends,depression,eatingdisorders,andexcessivedrinking.Ultimately,throughthesupportofherchosenblackfamily,shewasabletoheal.Intimateandilluminating,SurvivingtheWhiteGazeisatimelyexaminationofracismandracialidentityinAmericatoday,andanextraordinarilymovingportraitofresilience.
